Life Relationships

Why you wont meet the right guy over 40 in Sydney until there’s a recession

Women Looking for a relationship with a guy over 40 in Sydney wont find one until there’s a recession.

The most common question women ask me is about relationships; namely where to meet men, how to talk to men, and why haven’t they found the love of their life yet?

There’s a simple explanation; from what I see, none of us are going to find the right guy in Sydney until there is a recession, like a major financial downfall, to even everybody out.

You see, in the Eastern suburbs and lower north shore, amongst the affluent set, no-one has had to struggle for a very long time. Sure, there was a bit of a dip in 2007, and yes, a few bankers lost their jobs and had to sell up, but for the vast majority, it’s been perceived windfall after windfall.

They’ve been living in (very expensive) houses that keep going up in value thanks to the rising market and they have also been spending big along the way. I mean “Who flies economy any more” or  “Why haven’t they got Dom Perignon 1996 here?” are common lines on a first date in this town if the guys are over 40.

But I tell women not to be impressed by these kind of lines  about affluence – they are in fact, a huge red flag.

In a lot of cases due to the amount of years the property market has been skyrocketing, Sydneysiders are buying houses they really can’t quite afford but are punting on future capital gains (given the property market’s rising history here in Sydney), and live on their credit cards, racking up debt for designer restaurants, cars and other trappings of financial success.

In one way or another, all of this results in extreme anxiety. If the market DOESN”T keep going up – a lot of them are seriously screwed, and a lot of the men cannot cope. It destabilises them.

But what does this have to do with dating? Well, it has set a tone where both the marrieds and unmarrieds are struggling to deal with this anxiety they confront and live with on a daily basis, so what do they turn to? Cocaine.

Cocaine in Sydney is a luxury drug. Priced about  four times higher than in London, it’s the ultimate designer accessory. If you’ve got cocaine in Sydney, you are seriously cashed up, or at least that is the perception of these guys.

It is a struggle to find a single (or married) man over 40 in Sydney’s eastern suburbs who doesn’t do it pretty regularly. Many are still doing it over 50 years of age.  The majority of these men are fathers. And in most cases with the cocaine comes viagra, and then follows multiple sex partners, usually at the same time, often in the same bed.

The most common question women are asked in Sydney on a third or fourth date is – are you into three-somes? True story. Make your way to Double Bay any Saturday night to see all of this on display, in action first hand. The toilet cubicles have 2 or 3 people in them snorting cocaine, at the bars the champagne is flowing, and the surrounding four and five star hotels fill up into the early hours as couples venture out for threesomes or foursomes.

Married men aren’t exempt, many of them are also living under extreme stress, and trying to grab any single woman or paid entertainment they can to provide temporary relief for their anxiety. Some of their wives have no idea of the significant debts they are living with.

It’s hedonistic, it’s entertaining, and a lot of the guys are having the time of their life right now (apart from the ones who actually die from excessive drug use, and there are more of these than you might think).

But for articulate, successful intelligent single women in Sydney who are not interested in drugs or multiple sex partners, it is slim pickings. There definitely are exceptions, but boy, good luck finding them.

Europeans perceive Australians, especially Sydneysiders as the healthiest people in the world, and we are, but the people who actually need the detoxes, yoga and meditation are often the ones turning their backs on it.

I was in London recently and a Melbourne friend comparing the singles scene and life in Melbourne and Sydney said “you don’t go to Sydney to find a life partner, it’s a one night stand town. Melbourne is where you find the person to marry.”

Maybe he’s right? It is a while since I’ve been to Melbourne, but in the absence of an economic landslide here, perhaps it’s time to book a ticket and put on the high heels.

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